A collection of silly stuff, bits and pieces

The Squimbly Dimbly

Down in the Squimbly Dimbly
The Pig Wigs dance so Whimbly
They prance around
To the Nit Wits sound
Played upon a thimbly
How jubily the Nubies sing
How nubily the Jubies ring
They greast and drup
And chalk and chup
I never knew it was a thing

The Ballad of Butty Squtton

There once was a boy called Butty Squtton
He lived to eat mashed potatoes and mutton
He ate so much he burst through his clothes
And all that was left was a button.

Scatterbrain Sue

Scatterbrain Sue didn't live in a shoe
She lived in a house with a mouse.
Scatterbrain Sue didn't know what to do
When the mouse made a home in her shoe.
The mouse was quite the pest.
He wore her nose
And pinched her clothes.
The mouse was an unruly guest.
He squeaked the door
And slammed the floor
His roar was a deafening sound.
He tickled her cheese
And nibbled her knees
Or was it the other way round?

Baby Talk

A bibble, a ribble, a dribble, a bump
Gah Gahs and Goo Goos down with a thump.
A cribble, a nibble, a gibble, a grump
Bah Bahs and Boo Boos down in the dump.
A spiddle, a piddle, a riddle, a frump
All camels have a lump
Some have two
They have the hump
And so do you.

Peanut butter

As I was walking down the road
I was stopped by a skinny toad.
He asked me for a jar of peanut butter
As he had dropped one down the gutter.
I checked my pockets and looked for some
I had ham and pickles and chewed up gum.
Sorry I said as I hopped down the drain.
I'll give it back next time we have rain.

Mary Mary Nodairy

Something silly I wrote for my lactose intolerant daughter.

I once met a woman named Mary
Whose diet of milk didn't vary.
She blew up like a balloon
And floated up to the moon
She didn't know she was intolerant to dairy.
But the moon is made out of cheese
So Mary began to wheeze.
She filled up with gas
That shot out of her ass
And propelled herself back down with ease.